If you walk down any grocery check-out aisle, you're likely to see Magazines with influential figures such as Oprah Winfrey, promoting the maintenance of healthy inner-being. They provide yoga exercises, meditation exercises, relationship tips, and will even display a list of foods rich in endorphins.
For example, at livinggreenmag.com, an article was published called, "A Daily Dose of Endorphins: Six Happy Foods to Boost Your Surly Mood," that stated the following:
"It's true–You can’t buy happiness. But you can definitely walk down to the supermarket and buy some super food that can raise your spirits and give you an instant dose of happiness! Here is a list of foods that not only taste good, but are also healthy and give a natural boost to your happy hormones!"
Though there is nothing wrong with indulging in some yummy foods that God gave us for our own pleasure, women today are simply looking in the wrong direction for fulfillment. We have become so desperate and hungry for fulfillment that we have even looked to foods to make us feel better. No amount of dark chocolate or Greek yogurt will cure depression, bitterness, anguish, or heal past hurts.
People even seek to climb tall mountains as a means of fulfillment, but once they reach the top, they are left disappointed and empty. They have nothing more to accomplish. They keep searching for the next big thing, and though those may provide momentary bits of happiness, nothing can compare to the everlasting joy that comes from having a life with Christ in it.
The secret to a fulfilling life, is to have something to accomplish. The great thing about living a life with Christ, is that the journey does not even end at death for us! We can walk everyday towards a goal, counting our blessings along the way, and enjoying all of the small, ordinary things that God gives us just for our pleasure, with hope of spending an eternity in bliss!
We can't change the ordinary things, but we can change the way we view them if we look through the eyes of Christ. When bad things happen to us, we know they are for our good in one way or another because God promises us in Romans 8:28, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
God promises us fulfillment, and prosperity. Pray that God will help you find fulfillment in him. Take advantage of that promise! God appreciates when we hold him accountable to his Word just as he will someday do for us.
(Jeremiah 29:11) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)
What did Jesus mean when he said, "...become as little children?"
God desires for us, his children, to have child-like faith. Can you go back to a time in your life where you jumped into the arms of your father? You yelled, "Catch me Daddy," and took a leap of faith. There was no doubt in your mind that he would catch you. You believed in his strength, and his ability to protect you from harm. When you got older, you stopped leaping into his arms. Why? As you got older, you began to use logic and reasoning to make decisions. You begin to calculate your father's strength versus how much you weigh. You began to doubt his ability to catch you. The circumstances seem too big for him now, and as you grew bigger, your father seemingly grew smaller.
As human beings growing up in an era where logic and reasoning are our main ways of thinking, it's normal for us to rely on our own knowledge and understanding as a means for survival. You believe in gravity, so why would you try to walk off a cliff, or jump off a roof? You believe that you need oxygen to survive, so why would you dive deeper than you could handle without an oxygen tank? You know you are limited in strength, so why would you try to move a mountain?
Because we are limited with our human characteristics, we subconsciously place human characteristics on our God. God expects us to, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)
We are to abandon our own understanding--rid ourselves of logical reasoning, and open up our hearts and minds to new possibilities. There is a God of miracles out there, and he wants you to place your full trust in him. He wants you to take a leap of faith, and to trust him even when the circumstances seem too big. Our God is bigger than any circumstances. His laws and his ways can nullify the laws of this world.
Jesus defied the laws of physics when he walked on water, he defied the law of gravity when he ascended up into heaven, he defied death when he rose from the grave, and he defied nature when he was conceived in a virgin's womb.
Our God is not limited the way we are, and he wants us to put our full trust in him, and have blind faith--faith like a child even though we cannot see.
When you approach a chair to sit down, do you first analyze the chair's structure and strength? Do you flip the chair over and make sure all screws are in place? Do you test the chair by placing other heavy objects on it? No! You sit down in blind faith and believe it will hold you up. We should act the same towards God.
Whenever you feel limited, remember that God is your full potential.
If you are a married woman of God, chances are you have been told about the importance of intimacy, but every once in a while we need a little reminder of God's intended purpose for intimacy. There are several ways to be intimate with your husband, but today we are going to focus one one kind-- sexual intimacy.
The term "sexless-marriage" is used to describe a marriage that has dwindled it's sex count to 10 times or less per year. Studies show that 15-20% of American marriages--including Christian marriages-- fit this category. That is roughly 1/5th of all marriages, meaning 1 out of five couples are sexually deprived!
Sex provides an intimate connection. This connection is the glue God gave us to hold our marriages together. We are designed to crave sex, and when we don't get enough of it, the results can be devastating. Spouses that lack intimacy try to fill that void by keeping themselves busy with work, ministry, hobbies, sports, etc, and when they do not find fulfillment, divorce becomes an option.
Other than divorce, another threat in Christian marriages is very real --infidelity.
I am not trying to scare you into having sex with your husbands so that they won't cheat on you. I am simply saying that if you want to know what your true purpose in life is, the Bible summarizes it perfectly:
1:Corinthians 11:7-9 "Woman is the glory of man. For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man."
You were created FOR your husband. That's God's purpose for our lives as wives whether society likes it or not.
You do not own your body--your husband does. Your husband also does not own his body. You do.
1 Corinthians 7:4 says, "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."
If your husband asks for sex, never deny him, just as you shouldn't deny God your time or intimacy with him. If you can't seem to find the time, MAKE the time.
The devil WANTS to destroy your marriage.
1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."
Satan hates marriages, because marriage is the image of God's unbreakable love for us. If Satan can destroy a marriage, he destroys the mystery of a loving God who has a binding relationship and covenant with us. Since the beginning of time Satan has tried to twist the beauty of the covenant between husband and wife to mar God's image. Don't give the Devil the option! Fight for your marriages through praying together, reading the Bible with one another, and through reliable and continuous intimacy.
I challenge you to begin reading the Songs of Solomon with your spouse. If they can't read it with you, read it alone. Rekindle your Godly passions, and desire your husband always, as you ought to desire your Lord.
If you are a stay-at-home mom such as myself, you may sometimes feel overwhelmed. You feel like your sole-purpose in life is only to cook, clean, and take care of children. You may often feel unappreciated by your family, or intimidated by women who do work outside of the home. Even worse, you may be condescending towards them. I am here to tell you that your position at home DOES have a purpose and it is very glorifying to God.
You may have heard the expression, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." Contrary to popular belief, that quote cannot be found in the scriptures. This phrase was actually first recorded in a sermon by John Wesley in 1778. However, the idea in itself is ancient and can be found in Babylonian and Hebrew religious tracts, such as the ceremonial washing of the hands before writing God's name in scriptures or before you you break bread with your family.
Cleaning can be a drag, but God desires you to have a clean home. Your virtue is reflected in the cleanliness of your home and your partner's clothing. It has been said, "A man with dirty laundry is a man whose wife doesn't love him." However, with children running around, and the carelessness of our husbands, (did he forget where the hamper was?) our efforts to stay clean seem futile. The kids track dirt through the house, fling spaghetti up on the ceiling, or ruin our wooden table top by blowing bubbles into their chocolate milk through a crazy straw. It can be very frustrating and seemingly impossible to keep up with.
God expects you to be patient, and to have a loving, compassionate attitude towards our youngsters and partners who have had a stressful day at work, or just want to take the weekend to relax. You may wonder, "when do I get to relax?" Well, I hate to break it to you, but God designed us to be able to withstand pressure such as this. Though we are the weaker vessels, inside, we are empowered with wisdom, providing counsel for our husbands with our loving nature, compassion, and words of kindness that are expected. These are the standards God holds us to, and we must obey. I will outline a small list to keep you motivated to stay clean in order to honor your husbands and your God.
1.) Invite more people into your home. Have you ever been caught off-guard by an unexpected guest, and you worry because you know your house is a complete disaster? Don't you feel ashamed, or feel that you look incompetent? It can be quite embarrassing! The cleanliness of your home has an impact on how outsiders see you as a wife and mother. You can be the best mom or spouse in the world, but if people see your house in ruins, they may question your abilities, and they may actually feel sorry for your husband. Instead, as in Proverbs 31, let your clean house bring respect and honor to your husband, so that he can be the man of influence God needs him to be. Plus, hospitality definitely earns you some treasures in heaven!
2.) Work for God, not man. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people." To work wholeheartedly means to work enthusiastically. Remember the next time that you are ripping hair up out of the shower drain, or folding laundry, that you are doing it for God. Reading Matthew 25:35-40, we can see that Jesus says, "'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'" So you see? In all things you do, you will be rewarded as if you are doing it for God himself.
3.) Praise God in your heart while you clean. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." When you are on your hands and knees soaking puke or urine off the floor, pray. You are already on your knees, so pray for all the little feet that walk on it. Thank God that you have a family to make a mess in your home. You are not alone--isn't that a gift worthy of praise?
4) Work first, play later. In Ecclesiastes chapter 3, we are told there is a time for everything.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.."
Pray that God will help you to set your priorities straight.
5) Reward yourself. Ecclesiastes 3:13 further says, "And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God." When you are done cleaning, admire your work. It's okay to praise yourself, too. Break out the wine and enjoy a glass with your partner. After a long day, you both will enjoy it.
I encourage you to look over this list, and embed it in your mind. Never lose sight of your greatest God-given purpose--to love.
Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed with the routines of life, or during any trial whether significant or minute, listen to this song:
"But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
Exodus 3:11
The bush was on fire, but was not burning up. Curious, Moses stepped closer to investigate. All of a sudden, a voice like thunder projected from the bush, calling out to Moses by name. God had a plan for him. He was commissioning Moses to deliver his people, Hebrew slaves, from Pharaoh's mighty grasp in Egypt. Astonished, and battling confusion all at once, Moses said, "Lord, who am I?" After all, Moses had just fled Egypt for fear of his life. He felt that what God was asking him to do was just too much. The circumstances were stacked up against him. On top of being at enmity with the Pharaoh, Moses suffered from a speech impediment! God encouraged Moses by reminding him of his mighty power. God made the mouth to speak, eyes to hear, and legs to walk. God promised him a companion that would help, and he also promised to give him the words to speak. All Moses had to do was rely on God. Through Moses' obedience to God, the entire nation of Israel was set free. Has God been tugging on your heart lately to do something that you just don't feel strong enough to do? Perhaps God wants you to share the gospel with a coworker, friend or family member. Perhaps God wants you to begin to give more tithes and offerings to your local church body. Maybe he is asking something even bigger than you can wrap your mind around. You don't have to worry. God will be with you as long as you are obedient, faithful, and place your full trust in him. Don't be afraid to take that leap of faith. We have a God that is WAY bigger than any circumstances. He made the lame to walk, the blind to see, the mute to speak. He freed an entire nation from bondage using a man who was slow of speech. He changed Saul's heart--a powerful persecutor of early Christians, and renamed Paul, he brought the gospel to the gentiles--that includes you and me. He made it rain when it never had before, and flooded the entire Earth. Through his grace and power, he used a very old man to save all of humanity. He used Sarah, an old woman, well beyond child-bearing years, to give birth to a son that would be the beginning of the lineage of the Messiah. He used David, a boy small in stature to defeat a Giant with just one stone. He used Esther, both a jew and a woman, in the midst of Persian rule to free her people. He used Mary Magdalene, a former prostitute, to help begin establishing his church. He even used a donkey to speak his words. The least of all these--a bush. If God can use a plant or an animal, he can most certainly use you. It is nothing that you can do, but rather what God can do through you. Will you let God use you today? Do not be afraid. He will take you by the hand and lead you through it all. Together, you will overcome even the strongest of circumstances. "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." (Psalms 32:8) Listen to this song for some humbling encouragement:
As much as we women of God would love to walk around in the Spirit, we face the harsh reality of this fast-paced man-eat-man world and inevitably engage in the never-ending game of the survival of the fittest. We hustle to make money, so that we can partake in the beautiful luxuries this world has to offer. We desire the newest cars, the newest phones, and we keep up with the latest fashion trends. After all, we don't want to ever become a has-been. I am writing this to you to tell you that there is so much more to life than material things! We must learn to make money work for us, instead of working for money! A savvy business woman knows where to invest her possessions in order to make a profit. God is calling us to be business women for him. He lends us his personal possessions daily-- our house, our cars, our phones, our clothes, our money. Let me rephrase that: HIS house, HIS cars, HIS phones, HIS clothes, and HIS money. Everything that we have is HIS, and he expects us to use our possessions and invest them; not just on this Earth, but in heaven! How can we invest our earthly possessions in the kingdom of God? Surely we can not take those possessions to heaven with us when we die! However, you CAN invest your possessions by using them to help establish God's will. Does someone need a place to stay? Let them stay in your home. Does someone need a ride to the grocery store, or perhaps to church? Give them a ride in your car. Does someone need prayer or a word of encouragement? Give them a call on your phone. Does someone need clothes? Lend the clothes off your back. Does someone need money? Give them your money, and your time to help them. Give, give give, without hope of return. All the treasures you have on this Earth, even your own husbands and children--your own family, all belong to God. God is the one who gives you a stable job. God is the one who allows your family to wake up every morning. God is the one who provides for you, but he expects you to take his money and invest it. Consider the parable of the Talents, found in Matthew 25:14-30, told by Jesus Christ himself: A business man had to go on a trip, so he entrusted the money of his estate to his three servants. To one man, he gave one talent, to another, two, and to the other five, according to their abilities. When he left, two of the men tried to put their money to work, but the man who had the one talent was afraid to lose the money, so he buried it.When the master returned from his trip, he called them together for a financial report. The man with two talents, and the man with five talents both doubled their master's money that they had invested. The master was very pleased with these two servants. He explained that since they were faithful with little, that he would put them in charge over much. However, for the servant that had buried the money, he called wicked. The master took away what little he had, and gave it to the one who had doubled their investment to 10 talents. God expects us to do the same. If we use our money according to his will, and invest our treasures in heaven, he will bless us with abundance here on Earth as well. If you are tired of living paycheck to paycheck, tithe your money to God, even when you think you don't have enough, and give to those in need. In doing so, God will trust you with much more. One day, God is going to call each and every one of us to take a financial report, and he will hold us accountable for the way we chose to spend our money during our small time here on Earth. Invest in heaven, and spend wisely. Be the savvy business woman God desires for you to be. (Matthew 6:19-21) - “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
If you're like me, or like most women, with raging hormones and what-not, you may feel that you have a short fuse--a lack of patience. You feel you have been too patient with people in the past, and you refuse to be trampled all over again. You're tired of the same old routine. The kids wont stop drawing on the walls, or peeing in the bed overnight. Your husband won't stop tucking his socks under the couch, and you'll be darned if you have to sit on the toilet again mid-pee trying to put a new roll on, because YOU are clearly the only one is is capable. (Sarcasm, ladies.) You ask nicely, then you ask nicely again. Then you get a little irritated, and then one day, BOOM! You explode. You spew forth words you'll later regret, and commit actions that later will leave you sitting there with your head in your hands wondering how you allowed yourself to go off the deep-end again. You don't want to me the mommy-monster, or the nagging wife. You don't want to be the bad guy. So how do you prevent another Momuclear explosion? When you decided to become a woman of God, you received the very life of Jesus Christ, and in doing so, you possess a part of his divine nature. You begin to share and produce his characteristics. One of the many amazing characteristics of God, is that he is long-suffering. To develop this characteristic, one must first understand what the word, "long-suffering," means. The word Long-suffering is actually made up of two Greek terms that when textually translated into English means, "long," and "temper." To be long-suffering then, means to have self-restraint when you are stirred to anger. Long-suffering is associated with mercy (1 Peter 3:20) and hope (1 Thessalonians 1:4). A long-sufferer will never surrender to circumstances or succumb to trial. God expects us to be long-suffering as he is long-suffering, and he promises to reward us for our patience and self-sacrifice. Consider the story of Ruth. She was not an Israelite, but a Moabitess. Though she did not know the God of Israel just yet, she chose to follow her mother-in-law Naomi after both of their husbands had died. Living in a strange new land as a widow, Ruth chose to believe in God's promise that says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye." (Psalm 32:8) Through patience, and long-suffering, and many days gleaming in the field with the heat beating against her back, she won over Boaz, her future husband-to-be. In doing so, she fulfilled God's will for her life; she had found her purpose. Her mother in law called her blessed, and her lineage can be traced down all the way to the Messiah-- Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Long-suffering can earn you God's favor. It is such a powerful tool in your walk with Christ, that through his authority and through long-suffering, you can win over even the hardest of hearts. Is there's someone's heart that you need to be softened towards you? Patience is not given, but earned through continual practice. Pray today that God gives you the endurance you need, and the encouragement you need to continue to put your long-suffering into practice. He promises to you and me that it will be worth it all, and I believe it. Will you?
"Hollywood." When I say this word, much comes to mind-- Celebrities, the Hollywood sign, movies of love and romance... Hollywood has completely redefined the way that the world sees, well, pretty much everything! Though Hollywood has been continuously attacked and blamed for the nation's deteriorating self image through its use of unrealistic physical expectations of men and women, greater corruption lies in their portrayal of love. Women today, believe that men ought to worship them. We must be wooed and pampered. When our partners aren't thoughtful, we become bitter and we feel unloved. We expect surprises, long walks on the beach, and picnics in the park. Spontaneity equates with romance to us, for that is what we have been taught--thanks Hollywood! As a result, much of the world today believes that love is just a feeling. This feeling overwhelms the person, and they "fall in love." You're probably thinking, "Well, what's wrong with that? Love based solely on feelings is flawed. The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Proof of this lies in your past experiences. How many times have you fallen in love before marrying your spouse? I know I have had a first, second, and third love before uniting with my husband. This "puppy love," actually gives us a sort of high, and we form a connection--or rather an addiction. After the honeymoon phase is over, we suffer from withdrawal. Things just aren't the same. Two or three kids later, you can't help but ask yourself, "Does he still love me?" You blame your partner for the lack of romance. Where has the passion gone and how can we get it back? You just don't feel happy anymore. I am writing this to tell you that though God does care about your happiness, he is more concerned with your Holiness. So how can we create, "Holy passions?" By choice. You simply have to CHOOSE to love--unconditionally. In a Christian relationship, you should spend more time worrying about your partner's needs than your own. I am not saying to entirely neglect yourself, but use your judgment to discern what are truly needs, and what are just wants. We are called to love the unloveable, as Christ loved us and died for us when we did not deserve it either. Passions of the heart fade whether you have a relationship with God or not, but Holy passions will never fade, because the Holy Spirit will continue to flood you with passion as long as you permit him to. Will you allow God to revive your relationship? Seek God today. Pray, and ask him to revive your holy passions so that you can love your husband as Christ loves the church. Pray that God gives you wisdom so that you will be able to identify and fulfill your partner's needs today. I challenge you to make today all about them.
You have probably heard the expression, "Behind every great man, there is a great woman." Though the origins of this phrase are unknown, it first gained its popularity during the Feminism Movement in the 1960's.
We exist in a world today where a war of power continually wages between men and women. We demand equal gender pay, the right to show off our bodies, and we declare independence. We are taught to use our sexuality as a means for expression. To me, this does not sound like freedom, but rather carnal captivity; bound by the chains of sexual immorality, vanity, and pride.
This fight for equality has taken a turn for the worst. Women no longer want to be equal with men. They want to control and manipulate them as tools for their own personal gain and pleasure. They want to be the head, but what does the Bible say?
Ephesians 5:23-24 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
The husband is to be the "head," of the wife, but what does this mean? Should a woman live in the shadow of her husband, quiet, without a voice to be heard? God forbid. To better understand our roles as wives, we need to understand submission.
Submission in the Biblical context is synonymous with the word amenable, which means, "willing to do something, or agree with someone."
Submission is not forced. It is a choice--a responsibility, rather, not his right. Deciding WHEN and HOW to submit is a woman's calling in a Christian marriage. When we have a healthy Christian marriage, the focus should never be on our rights, but rather personal accountability and responsibility. The husband's responsibility is to be affectionate, and to love sacrificially as Christ loved the Church-- not to make his wife submit.
Why does God want us to be submissive?
1 Peter 3:1 says, "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
You see, God trusts us as women to be counselors, and spiritual guides for our husbands. We are held accountable to strengthen our husband's faith through our reverence for God's Word!
Verses 3-6 then say, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
We are to use discernment of when to submit to our husband's will, and when not to. As long as our husband's will coincides with the Lord's, we are to be agreeable; we are to be submissive to God's will being established through our husbands. This is glorifying to God.
Our submissiveness does not just gain us favor with the Lord, but it also helps our husbands to gain favor and influence with other people.
Proverbs 31:23-25 says, "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them,and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity: she can laugh at the days to come."
The Proverbs 31 woman's husband was revered because of the actions of his wife. Her actions of submissiveness was an outward glance of what the inside of their home was like. She empowered and enabled him to be the man God needed him to be. Will you do the same for your husband? Will you be submissive for your God?
Ask yourself this question: “What can I start doing that will help my husband be the man of influence God is calling him to be?”
Wives, pray for your husbands, and pray for discernment so that you may know when his will equates with God's will. For the woman whose husband is not up to par with God just yet, let your actions reflect Christ in you. In return you will gain him for the Lord and for the Kingdom; your heart's greatest desire.
Have you ever been labeled a "Negative Nancy," or a "Debby Downer?" If so, you are not alone. Though pretty down to earth, I tend to have my moments of defeat. I begin to grumble and complain, or even worse--take my frustration out on the ones I love. It is easy for us to blame others for our poor behavior, or our bad day, but what if I told you that YOUR attitude is actually to blame for having a bad day? Phillipians 2:14 says, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing," yet many of us complain or argue on a daily basis. God has really been pressing on my heart lately to learn to stop complaining--to bridle my tongue, and put an end to the groaning in my heart. I am facing unemployment, an upcoming important role in a wedding that is being held over 3,500 miles away, and as of yesterday I found out I am pregnant with my second child. If anyone should be complaining, it should be me. But alas, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and clothes to cover my nakedness. I have a happy marriage with renewed vows, a gorgeous, healthy son, and now the blessing of a new baby. I have my sight, my hearing, my voice. I have my health. Above all else, my father is the King of the Universe, and he promises to take care of me. Guess what? He promises to take care of you, too. Today I encourage you to accept this challenge, as have I. As soon as you catch yourself complaining, rebuke it. Don't be as the Israelites wandering through the wilderness for forty years, complaining nonstop. God made it so that their clothes and shoes would not wear out. He always provided manna, water, and even when they complained still, he showed grace and offered them Quail. Then even the Quail was not enough for them! They had forgotten their heavenly father who had taken them out of Egypt. They failed to see their blessings and they were eventually cursed for their groaning. Do not reap destruction upon your household. Pray that God will help you to keep a positive spirit. Get up every morning, and pray that God will work on you concerning this. Remember to serve with gladness, and above all else, to love unconditionally as Jesus has loved us.
Like many other Christian women, I believe Proverbs 31 is God's written form of standards for his daughters in Christ. I, myself, desire to be a virtuous woman, and if you truly are a woman of God, you, too, will be burdened with this desire. Some critics declare that the the Proverbs 31 guidelines are out of date; that it is no longer applicable to our modern lives. I would have to disagree. Because I believe that God's Word stands the test of time, I have created a set of guidelines on how to become a virtuous woman, even in modern society. 1. You must have faith. Proverbs 31:30 says, " Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." God expects us to serve him with all of our heart, mind, and soul. We must seek his will for our life, and never stray from following his ways. The context of this passage equates physical beauty with vanity, which brings me to my next point. 2. You must possess inner beauty. Proverbs 31:26 says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." One possesses inner beauty through seeking God's wisdom, and by following his greatest commandment-- to love others above ourselves. How can we exhibit this demonstration of unconditional love? 3. You must be generous. Proverbs 31:20 says, "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hand to the needy." We must be joyful givers in all we do. We are told to give willingly, but also to manage our finances wisely. 4. You must spend wisely. Proverbs 31:11 says, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." If you are married, or in a domestic partnership, you must seek approval from your husband before making any financial decisions. Learn to budget, and spend wisely. Cut coupons if you have to. Help relieve your partner of financial burdens-- do not become one! Take the time. It will be worth it. 5. You must use your time wisely. In Proverbs 31:15 it says, "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." A virtuous woman works diligently to complete her daily tasks without complaint. We must not waste time dwelling on things that do not please the Lord. 6. You must respect and love your husband. In Proverbs 31:12 it says, "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Cook, clean, and care for your husband. A man with dirty clothes is a man whose wife does not love him. Never argue in public, and never discuss your marital issues with anyone other than your partner. This, I myself have learned the hard way. 7. You must respect and love yourself. In Proverbs 31:22 it says, "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." Proverbs 31:25 further says, "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come." A virtuous woman of God puts thought into her appearance. Her inner and outer beauty are harmonious. We must be modest, humble, and prudent. We are priceless treasures, valued by God himself, and we must treat our bodies thusly. 8. You must be a homemaker. In Proverbs 31:27 it says, "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." We must create a warm, welcoming environment for both our families and friends. Does your husband come home to a warm embrace, and food on the table, or does he come home to a bitter, nagging woman? Proverbs 25:4 says, "Better to live on the corner of a rooftop than to share a wide house with a nagging wife." Make your home a place where your husband and children can relax and recharge; a place where they can relieve themselves of the day's burdens. 9. You must be a good mother. In Proverbs 31:28 it says, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." We must teach our children the way of the Lord, and care for their needs always. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Is it not one of your deepest desires for your child to grow up in the Lord, and keep his ways always? This is an early way to plant the seed of salvation in your child. Never let them see you contradicting God's word. Who you are at church in front of others should be who you are at home. 10. You must always be prepared. In Proverbs 31:21 it says, "She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet (warm clothing.)" Proverbs 21:18b says, "...her candle goeth not out by night." Do not just focus on preparing for the day for materialistic purposes. Live a purpose-driven life. Prepare for the day's spiritual battled by praying and seeking God's face as soon as you wake up. Ask for his favor, and seek his wisdom. He will bless you and all of your household. You will never be found wanting. Proverbs 31:10- "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is FAR above rubies.
As is common among women, I particularly enjoy gardening. I love giving my plants the nourishment and care they need. It's almost a motherly instinct; I see them as living beings.
This may sound kooky, but I even talk to them and tell them I am going to take good care of them. (Hey don't judge. Plants need carbon dioxide!)
After a tiring day of pruning the hedges in my backyard, I threw down my pruning shears and decided to take a break in the shade of my back patio. As soon as I looked over to admire my work, a snake slithered its way into the hedges I had just tended to. I almost had a scary encounter! I missed it by a fraction of a minute!
God spoke to me concerning this. Many times, we have snakes in our garden. Snakes camouflage themselves, blending into our lives. They strike when you least expect it; injecting their toxic venom where they see fit-- sowing discord.
A snake can take on many forms. Perhaps a gossiping friend, a bad influence, or a seemingly harmless co worker of the opposite sex. It doesn't have to be just a person. It can also come in the form of negative thoughts, ideas, temptations, addictions, or even social media websites.
Beware of the snakes in your life! Open up your eyes, or you, too, could fall victim of a snake's venomous attack.
Adam and Eve led peaceful lives in the Garden of Eden. They had it all-- a perfect marriage, a great relationship with the Creator, and all of their needs were being taken care of...that is until the snake entered their lives.
In Genesis 3:1, we see that the serpent made Eve question God's word. Two verses later, we see the snake corrupting and changing God's words. Unfortunately, Eve bought into the snake's lie. The consequences were severe; she became spiritually dead. In the end, the snake went on it's merry way, pleased with what it had done.
I encourage you women of God to analyze your life, and look for potential snakes in your garden. Remove toxic people or circumstances. They could ruin your marriage, your partnership, damage your relationship with God, and have devastating affects on your children.
Busy-bodies will viciously scrutinize other people's lives, and will crucify them with their sins. They, too, will face judgment.
Matthew 7:2, says, “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”
Maybe you're analyzing yourself and you realize YOU ARE THE SNAKE. Do you have a bad habit of gossiping? Bridle your tongue!
James 3:2-10 says, "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he (or she) says, he (she) is a perfect man (woman,) able also to bridle his (her) whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell..."
If you have a gossiping friend, chances are, they gossip about you, too. Remove them from your inner circle. Proverbs 20:19 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much."
It is in a woman's nature to be put at enmity with the snake. Identify the snakes in your garden and remove it from further corrupting your life, or even better--prevent them from causing any damage in the first place. Protect your nest; pray for discernment, and discretion.
After all, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout, is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." -Proverbs 11:22.
As women, we are naturally over-critical of ourselves. We stand in front of the mirror, picking at our faces, examining our pores, and we suck in our guts turning every which way trying to find the most flattering angle. We either leave satisfied, with chin up in the air and chest puffed out, or we leave distraught, with heads down in defeat. We walk through the grocery aisles, and we flip through magazines; our eyes devouring every bit of information. The woman on the cover has a flat stomach, a big bust, and the curves we so desperately long to have. We don't mean to, but we naturally compare ourselves. Our heart breaks because we do not fit society's standards of beauty. We scroll through other women's pictures on Facebook or Instagram, wishing we were as beautiful, or as funny, or as charismatic. We feel worthless. We turn to extreme dieting, surgery, or even develop eating disorders to feel better about ourselves. But in the end, we are left feeling empty. We let the numbers on the scale determine our value and worth. We can't even watch a movie with our friends, or our husbands, without critiquing every flaw we find in the actress we truthfully find so intimidatingly beautiful. We feel threatened. If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. I cannot tell you how many times I have felt like a busted can of biscuits whenever I have tried to wiggle into my pre-pregnancy pants. We have grown up in a world where appearances are everything. Our culture is sex-obsessed, claiming feminism, but pushing towards rights that would allow us to expose ourselves in our most vulnerable state--nudity. If we truly are women of God, then let us empower one another to be more modest, not to show ourselves off! Society tells us to be ourselves; but when we are ourselves, we are chastised for not being like the norm. I am here to tell you that you no longer have to seek approval or confirmation from anyone but yourself. You have God who created you perfectly! Every time you look in the mirror with disdain, you spit in the face of your Creator. It is a mother's worst nightmare--the day your child comes home from school crying because someone said they were ugly. They grow up, and you watch them mimicking the same behavior as you. They turn every which way in the mirror, criticizing themselves. They wish they had straight hair, or different colored eyes. You KNOW they are perfect just the way you made them. Your heart breaks for them...you wish they could see themselves through your eyes. I will tell you a story I have not told anyone else about an encounter such as this that I had with my mother a few years before she passed away. I have always been called, "pretty," by my peers and family, but it was never enough for me. I couldn't see it. In my eighth grade year of school, I noticed a girl who I thought was gorgeous. She was tan, with blue eyes, and long blonde hair. She had a perfect body and an enchanting smile. I longed so badly to look like that! Finally, yearbooks came in, and I really wanted to show my mom this beautiful girl. I flipped through every page until I found the girl; for I had not known her name. Excited, I pointed my finger at her picture, and exclaimed to my mother, "See?! Isn't she the most beautiful girl in the whole world?" My mother examined the picture for a moment, and looked back at me with brows furrowed. She said, "Mariah, you are way more beautiful than she is." However, I refused to listen; insisting that she was, in fact, the most beautiful girl in the world. My mother began to cry, and I never understood why until I reached womanhood. She believed I was beautiful. She had created me out of love she had for her husband, and I was hurting her. I was telling her she was wrong, and that she had raised an insecure child. My mother bore six children, and she was still slim. Even still, growing up I had watched her analyze herself in the mirror, and be upset when her weight wasn't where she wanted to be. God made each and every one of us according to his standard, and in his image. You have brown curly hair because God wanted you to have it. You are tall, short, big-boned, or super petite because thats how God wanted you to look. The way we look, helps God achieve his purpose for our lives. You are your boyfriend's/husband's type, are you not? Surely you are or they wouldn't have even looked twice. God knows what he is doing and we just have to trust him. I implore you women, to take a stand against society's standards, and to not show your vulnerability in front of your children. Whenever your son or daughter catches you glimpsing at yourself in the mirror, tell them the good features you have, instead of pointing out the bad. "Mommy has beautiful eyes, doesn't she?" "Mommy's hair is thick and long, isn't it?" "Mommy has beautiful sun-kissed freckles, right?" "Mommy's stretch marks are beautiful, because it means I get to have you." You would be surprised at the response your child would give you. I myself have practiced this in front of my two year old. Now, every day, without my prompting, he tells me, "Mommy, you beautiful." The Bible says that truth comes out of the mouth of babes, and it's true. You are beautiful, and valued, and loved, and more importantly, you are PERFECT just the way you are. Jonny Diaz puts it perfectly in his song, "More Beautiful You." The lyrics read thusly: "You were made to fill a purpose, that only you can do. There could never be a more beautiful you." Negative views of ourselves, is something that is taught. As little kids we are color-blind, and beauty-blind. We don't choose our friends based on their looks, but on their personality. If we ask the Lord, he can help us see through the eyes of a little girl once more. The song goes as far as saying, "He will take your dark, distorted view, and with His light, He will show you truth, and again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl." I encourage you to take a moment and listen to this song. Remember--there could never be a more beautiful you, and true beauty lies within the heart.
